9:01 PM So what's with the numbers? I guess, one way or another, what we choose to do with our lives becomes part of some study or statistic somewhere. 

For some, that which we see with our own eyes and experience with all our other senses can never be simplified or presented in an arbitrary table. The reports are devoid of the stories and the emotions. The papers are lifeless but straightforward. I guess for some, that's a way by which life gets simplified. 

A simplified life of black and white, of right and wrong, and of ups and downs. Maybe that's how fate works. In retrospect, that's how weaving works. Aren't the fates weavers?

It's interesting that amidst having met so many in this lifetime, everyday living has become mundane and jaded. 

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Here's to hoping.

 10:18 PM Random items are on my desk. I guess I've just been too preoccupied to put things in order these past few days. I have a designated spot for each one but working on it at this very moment does not seem too enticing. 

There are days when our energies are up and we face the day head-on with determination to check off all the things in our to-do lists. But, there are also days, when we're barely able to tick off one. It's daunting. Overwhelmed by the work and everything else in between, we sometimes just need to pause. 

To breathe. To take it all in. And to re-evaluate. 

We might never get to finish everything all at once but remember that we'll eventually do enough. The trick is to be mindful of ourselves. 

Rest a while. A quick refresh will do wonders. 

 7:57 PM Everything's more or less done. Sure, there is still a lot on the to-do list but so far the day has been a productive one. Got the major tasks done with a bit of room for improvement. 

Tomorrow's going to be yet another day to wake up and go through the day's motions. It's interesting to see that with the little improvements made before up until now, seemingly challenging tasks have become run-of-the-mill ones. 

I've yet to find the next mountain to conquer. At least for now and for several tomorrows, art would start to take center stage. 

11:53 PM Some days seem to just go on. It feels like it takes longer to finish than others. Today is one such day. 

The sun set early and walking along the pavement and the streets took a while. Streetlights and shops already had their lights on. Good thing it wasn't raining. It would've been more challenging to travel. 

Somehow the walk was soothing though. It kept me from thinking so much about what to plan next. I wasn't going fast nor was I catching my breath but my pace was steady and my steps were deliberate.

Everything was familiar. The scent. The sounds. The transition of lights as I pass by each building, shop, and house. It's okay. This is okay. I am okay. 

 8:30 AM My head is throbbing. I woke up with that feeling that the world around me was moving in circles. Maybe it was lack of sleep. Maybe I needed to rest. Maybe I'm thinking too much. 

As for now, I guess I'm going back to sleep. Usually, when I wake up from it, I'd feel better. Hopefully, this time it works too.

12:56 PM I feel a lot better but still a bit groggy. I'll put off work to maybe tonight. At least by then I'd have gotten a bit of a break.

 7:14 PM It's a holiday today. There's no work and there's a storm. It's good that the most that we had were slightly rainy and cloudy weather. On the news, it said that it's the strongest typhoon in the world for this year. 

As for me, well, here I am. Trying. 

I'm still trying to work out the most efficient way of fixing up my room and things. I actually want to buy new opaque white curtains and put the others in the wash. It's been so long since the curtains had a good washing. I have artworks to finish and to hang on my walls. I have a lot of unfinished work. But maybe the top priority should be me trying to look for myself in the heap of this never-ending to-do list. 

10:35 PM My head hurts a little. I guess it's from being in front of a gadget screen most of the time today. I've been wearing glasses. I hope that helps. Or maybe I'm just tired. Nothing really makes much sense right now. I hope tomorrow will be better. At least, hopefully, I'll be nearer to finding myself. 

If you find me, even just a glimpse of myself among this chaos, please let me know.

 10:55 AM It's been months since the pandemic broke out and derailed so many plans for this year. Trips were canceled. The school's gone online.  Everything else is just a blur. 

Plans? Do I really have those in my life right now? I am just so lost. A lot of my friends and family would say that at least I earn something for a living. Don't get me wrong. I am thankful for that. It's just that... I'm no longer happy. 

Was it because I no longer get to meet people? Was it because I rarely go out? Was it because I've been doing routine things? I am uncertain. 

Maybe, in the midst of the lull brought about by accomplishing mainly online and at home, I'd eventually find my way.